Supporting a Person with Mental Illness
When someone is struggling with mental illness, you might not know what to say or how to help. You want to be supportive and be careful not to cross personal boundaries or offend anyone. By educating yourself and practicing empathetic listening, you can learn how best to offer support and encouragement.
The Dos and Don'ts of Emotional Support
Do:
Ask if they're comfortable talking about their mental and emotional concerns
Listen with empathy and respect
Express genuine concern and caring
Ask how they would like to be supported
Ask straightforward questions
Offer to help identify options for treatment
Educate yourself about their illness
Set boundaries for yourself
Don't:
Accuse them of attention-seeking
Pry for information or demand answers to questions that make them feel uncomfortable answering
Take charge of their recovery or force them to seek treatment
Joke about or invalidate their illness
Give unsolicited advice
Scold or punish them for unhealthy behaviors or shortcomings
Disclose their condition to others without their consent
Start the conversation: How to talk to teens about mental health
Talking with teens about mental health can be challenging. The key is to pick a time and place that’s conducive to conversation—for example, riding in the car or taking a walk. Use open-ended questions to encourage them to respond in their own words. Here are some questions to get the conversation going and keep the lines of communication open.
Break the ice
Sometimes, you just need a way to engage a teenager and start a conversation. Questions like these can help.
If you could have anyone do the voice-over for your reflections on life, who would it be?
What is one of the most adventurous things you’ve ever done?
What is some place that you would really like to visit?
If you could be a contestant on any game show, which one would you choose?
If you could have any one superpower, which one would you choose and why?
If you had $1,000 to spend, how would you spend it?
What is your favorite thing to do with friends?
What is your dream car?
If you could go on a trip anywhere with three other people, where would you go and what three people would you take?
What was your favorite movie when you were younger?
steer the conversation toward mental health
Incorporate these questions into your conversations to help teens identify and talk about their feelings and experiences on a deeper level.
When do you get discouraged?
When do you feel most vulnerable?
What is something you like about yourself?
What is something you are looking forward to doing within the next six months?
What is one regret you have from last week?
What was the highlight of your week?
What is the biggest struggle you are facing in life right now?
What is one personal tragedy you have overcome?
Name one weakness and one strength you have.
Name one short-term goal and one long-term goal you have.
KNOW WhAT TO SAY AND WHAT NOT TO SAY
what if i have a mental health condition and don’t know how to ask for help?
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) has some helpful advice on asking for help. Many of us living with a mood disorder have a difficult time asking for help when we need it. Here are some tips for how to speak with your supporters about your needs.
Choose a time that’s relatively calm and free of distractions. You may need to make an appointment to sit down with friends or family members.
Begin your statements with yourself: “I feel,” or “I need.” Avoid “you” statements like “You always criticize me,” which can make a person feel blamed or defensive.
Provide them specifics of what they can say or do that will help you. This includes practical things like helping with housework or taking you somewhere.